


You Blinded Me Without Science

by misura



Category: Chuck (TV)
Genre: Crossdressing, Fluff, M/M, Stanford Era
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-12-19
Updated: 2010-12-19
Packaged: 2017-10-13 23:59:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,891
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/143113
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/misura/pseuds/misura
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bryce Larkin, superspy in training.</p>
            </blockquote>





	You Blinded Me Without Science

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ashcat](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ashcat/gifts).



_'Practice these techniques on your friends,'_ they tell Bryce.

It's a class on blending in, not assassination methods, but even so, Bryce feels compelled to ask: _'Why?'_ (it's the principle of the thing, the Stanford creed that there must always be a reason, unless it involves either (1) beer, (2) girls or (3) your cute if slightly naive roommate).

 _'Because that way, when you fail, you can tell them it's a joke.'_

Bryce thinks it's maybe not exactly confidence-boosting that they're saying 'when' rather than 'if'. Of course, this being the CIA, it might well be part of the plan - make him feel like he _has_ to get it right the first time, exceed their expectations.

This probably doesn't quite explain how he ends up kissing Chuck while wearing only one shoe, a wig, a pair of pom poms and a cheerleader's outfit, although it's a start, at least.

 

Bryce tries for simple, at first, because simple is always good - not only according to the CIA (in which case Bryce rather doubts it, anyway; he's filled out the paperwork required to enroll him in CIA training, after all, and 'simple' was very much not the right adjective for it) but also according to Bryce's personal guide on How to Approach Chuck (rule number one: if it works on everyone else, it probably doesn't work on Chuck).

He puts on a cap and a shirt he's never worn before, and then he waits for Chuck to go to the library and takes up position near the exit. He slouches in a way Bryce never slouches; he chews bubblegum (even managing a bubble or two - not that there's anyone around to impress) and he tries to think of nothing in particular, which means that after about five minutes, he's thinking about Chuck.

Classes in seduction are scheduled for about two months from now, depending on how quickly he manages the art of blending in. (Bryce wonders at which point the're going to cover 'making an entrance and introducing yourself last-name-significant-pause-first-name-last-name', and whether or not he's going to be supposed to practice _that_ on Chuck, too.)

The autographed poster he's ordered from eBay should arrive in about ten days, which gives him about fifty days to tell Chuck Bryce wants to have sex with him without actually putting it quite so ... simple.

(Every rule has its exceptions, and Bryce supposes he's a romantic after all - he wants Chuck to be _seduced_ , not simply to answer a question with 'yes' because 'no' might hurt Bryce's feelings.)

Chuck usually stays in the library for in between eight and twenty-three minutes, assuming he doesn't go there to study or to play 'Gotcha!', so when he comes out again in six this time, Bryce almost misses him. That would have been bad - he's passed his classes in observation months ago.

Worse is that Chuck completely fails to not notice him.

"Bryce?" Chuck looks a little worried. "Sorry, were we supposed to be going somewhere today? Because I checked my calendar - twice - and I don't _think_ we were supposed to be going somewhere today, but then I spotted you waiting for me, so I figured that maybe we _were_. Supposed to be going somewhere together."

Presumably, this is the part where Bryce is supposed to be grateful he's been trying to unnoticedly stalk a friend and use the line: 'It was a joke'. It does not really seem the right line for the moment for it, though. "I thought ... " Bryce starts, no real idea where he's going with this. "I thought we could go see a movie?"

Chuck's face brightens immediately. "Sure. Which one?"

"The one you told me about the other day?" Chuck is easily enthused; it's a safe bet there's a movie in the theater right now that Chuck thinks will be awesome, while Bryce will think the book or comic version was better. "It sounded like fun."

"That's not what you said Sunday." Chuck isn't suspicious; it's simply not in his nature.

"Well." Bryce shrugs. "Maybe your Vulcan powers of mind-control have finally kicked in."

"Yeah, ha, ha. You know Vulcans don't really have mind-control powers, right?"

 

Plan A clearly a failure, Bryce goes for something a little less simple. He puts on a cap again (hair seems to be a big part of what people will recognize about you), throws in a jacket, a pair of pants and to top it all off: a pizza box with a genuine pizza in it. (The cap and jacket are from a real pizza delivery guy, too, to whom Bryce has told quite the fabulous story about how he's secretly a CIA agent who needs to pose as a pizza delivery guy in order to infiltrate an enemy base.)

He won't actually deliver the pizza to Chuck - that would be a bit too much. He only needs to let Chuck see him while wearing the uniform, preferably in passing, without saying something like:

"Hey, I thought we were going to get Chinese tonight."

Bryce considers brazening it out - not the part where he's not him, just the part where he's supposed to be a pizza delivery guy, but this is _Chuck_. It's really hard to lie to Chuck, when he's looking straight at you; it's a Chuck thing. "Um," he says. Smooth and slick, that's Bryce Larkin, superspy in training.

"Well, I don't mind," Chuck says. "Less washing up, right? And it _is_ my turn, so hey, thanks."

They always eat pizza out of the box, but for Chinese food, Chuck insists on plates. It's a Bartowski thing, Bryce has been told. "You're welcome."

 

Bryce considers changing his hair, wearing contacts, putting on a fake moustache - that sort of thing.

Of course, Chuck walks in on him while he's trying on the beard and the glasses.

(Bryce thinks those actually might have worked, too.)

(Although probably not.)

 

Desperate times call for desperate measures and so Bryce figures that in order for Chuck to not recognize him, he needs to appear as someone almost but not entirely unlike himself. If he can dress up as the kind of person Chuck tends to avoid, so much the better.

The cheerleader's outfit is only a little bit harder to get than the pizza delivery guy's uniform, mostly because Bryce needs it to actually _fit_. Getting a bra and stuffing it is ridiculously easy, even if Bryce now owes a complete stranger a gift card to the Victoria's Secret webshop. (He slips it in with her laundry, in the hopes that she'll find it and not dust for fingerprints.)

He gets the wig from someone from the drama club, who also presses a napkin in his hands with a phone number on it. Bryce presumes the number is his. After a moment's thought, he puts it in the folder he's labeled 'CIA training documents', to keep Chuck from being even slightly tempted to take a look inside. (Chuck likes his games to include either elves or Vulcans.)

Bryce remembers to lock the door to the bathroom this time, when he tries everything on.

It's pretty much the only thing that goes right for quite a while.

 

The thing is: Bryce does not make a particularly attractive or (in his own opinion) convincing woman. He doesn't walk like a woman; he doesn't move like a woman, and if anyone tries to talk to him, he's not going to sound like a woman either.

The other thing is: some people tend to not be very observant when they're a little drunk. Or very.

(It's stuff like this they only teach in the advanced courses.)

 

Men's shoes don't make nearly as effective a weapon as ladies' footwear, Bryce thinks. Of course, the heels also make 'running away' much more of a hypothetical option, but then, with Chuck right there, that wasn't really an option anyway.

Somehow, he manages to hold on to the wig, even if he's now going to owe someone half a pair of shoes. It's worth it, to keep Chuck from realizing the blonde cheerleader who's playing damsel-putting-others-in-distress is, in fact, Bryce. The pom poms help, too, although Bryce makes a mental note to customize them a bit, if he's ever going to do this again (so never, hopefully). As they are, they don't pack nearly enough of a punch.

The same cannot be said about _'Quantum Physics for Experts'_ , which Chuck uses to hit the last one of Bryce's would-be new friends over the head.

It's kind of heroic, really, not to mention a bit depressing, considering.

"Hey." Chuck is pale and breathing a little hard. Bryce wouldn't be surprised if this has been the first time Chuck has ever been involved in any sort of violence. "Are you all right?"

Bryce nods. As a way of saying 'thank you', it seems woefully inadequate.

"Good," Chuck says. "That's good. I'm glad. And um, I just want you to know that I understand. I mean, I don't care, or, well, I do care, but I care about _you_ , and if you want to dress up like a cheerleader, well, that's fine by me. You look nice."

Bryce closes his eyes and counts until ten. Slowly. When he opens his eyes again, Chuck is leaning over him, looking worried. "Chuck," Bryce says. He kind of hopes the _'if you don't back away right now, I might do something that might freak you out'_ is sort of implied by his tone.

"Yeah?" Chuck licks his lips. It's just something he does when he gets a little nervous; Bryce knows this. It's not an _invitation_. It's not a 'hey, look at my lips!'.

"I want to kiss you," Bryce says.

Chuck doesn't move. "Okay."

 

"There's something about me you should probably know," Bryce says the next morning, after he's checked their room for bugs about three times and also found back that DVD of _'Big Trouble in Little China'_ that's been lost for close to a year now and was presumed to have ended up in the trash by accident.

Chuck makes that face he always makes when it's morning and he doesn't want to wake up yet.

"It's _important_ ," Bryce insists, because, well, it is. Next time he gets into a fight, it might not be with some drunken idiots who can't handle the idea of a cheerleader not wanting to sit down and have a drink with them. Next time, it might be the former KGB, or the Chinese, or some rogue agent from the Mossad. (According to the CIA, Mossad agents go rogue at least two times in their career, and four out of five times, they're faking it.)

Chuck sighs and opens his eyes. "Look, I already know, all right?"

"You know I've been recruited by the CIA?" Bryce thinks he's been discrete. Bryce thinks he's been more than discrete, but then, this _is_ Chuck.

"Just come back to bed?" Chuck yawns. "Whatever you want to be or do, it's fine with me."

"Even if I want to be Chuck Bartowski's boyfriend?" Bryce doesn't know what the CIA's stand on 'Don't Ask, Don't Tell is, but right now (or ever, as long as he's with Chuck), he doesn't care.

Chuck's only answer is a soft snore.

Bryce sighs, checks his watch and softly closes the door behind him when he leaves.


End file.
